


Blue Petals, Falling From Your Lips

by SalamanderGoo



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14167368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalamanderGoo/pseuds/SalamanderGoo
Summary: An innocent crush, building for years.  A cough.  A few petals here and there.  A friend who fears for his life.  Brian has no idea what's happening when a quiet cough on a Friday evening brings something up.  Not just flower petals.  But feelings he can't ignore any longer.





	1. Chapter 1

Brian stared across the office at Dan with a fond smile, watching as Dan talked animatedly with Arin about the game they'd been playing. He made a face when he felt an odd tickle in his throat. He held a hand up to his mouth and coughed roughly, feeling something hit his hand. He winced, looking down at his hand and expecting gross phlegm. 

It was a blue petal. 

"What the fuck?" He raised an eyebrow, but dropped the petal in the trash can. Odd. He shook it off, looking down at his work. 

He'd forgotten about the petal by that evening, sitting at dinner with Ross and Holly, who had invited him out to eat with them. He smiled as Holly excitedly chattered about her latest project, turning away a moment to cough into his fist. 

Another petal. 

He made a face, dropping the blue petal to the floor. "What was that?" Ross peered over curiously. 

"It was nothing. What were you saying, Holly?" He didn't miss the way her face twisted with worry. But the expression shifted to normal with a few more minutes. 

Near the end of their meal, Ross had excused himself to use the bathroom, leaving Brian and Holly alone. "Brian, is everything okay?"

Brian looked up from his phone. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I just... it's nothing. Promise me you know you can talk to me about anything?"

"Of course I do. You're one of my best friends." He smiled at her. Her smile seemed weak, but she smiled back. 

She knew what was happening to him. She'd had that before. She remembered a night of sobbing into a pillow, dozens of purple petals pouring from her lips...

But Ross had loved her back. When she'd confessed, throat full of petals, he'd kissed her. He'd kissed her, the pressure that had been on her chest for weeks going away. The first full breath of air entered her lungs. 

But she was one of the lucky ones. Only 15% of those with the disease were cured like that. 60% had the flowers removed. And 25% would suffocate. 

Hanahaki was deadly. And she feared Brian may be its next victim.


	2. Chapter 2

The petals were odd. It was a strange sensation to feel a tickle in the back of your throat and taste flowers. Brian didn't want to think about it. So he didn't. He had the weekend off. So he thought nothing of it. 

Brian's weekend was quiet. He just relaxed as much as he could. He went on a long run on Saturday afternoon, sticking in his earbuds and losing himself in the rhythm of his feet hitting the ground and the music. 

He coughed a few times on the run. If he'd been paying attention, he would've noticed it only happened when NSP songs came on and he listened to Dan's vocals. 

He played with his lizard, affectionately named Fucker. He'd gotten the lizard on a whim about a year ago. Well, getting Fucker wasn't the on a whim part. He'd put in time and research and carefully made up the tank. The decision had been. 

But he was very happy to have a tiny pet. Fucker was adorable and sweet and quiet. She was a good lizard. 

He found time to get around to reading a book an old colleague had recommended to him years ago. He would've enjoyed it more when it had been recommended, but it was still a nice read. 

So he was feeling refreshed and ready as he walked into work on Monday morning, a cup of coffee in one hand, his bag in the other. As usual, he was one of the first to get into the office, Arin the only one before him. 

He greeted Arin, leaning on the doorframe to his office. 

Arin grinned at him. "Morning Brian. How was your weekend?"

"It was good. I found some time to get a run in for once." He took a sip of his coffee. "How was yours?"

"Good. Spent some quality time with Suzy." Arin winked suggestively. 

"Ew. Could you get any straighter?" Brian smirked. 

"Only with my fingers up your asshole, man."

"Name the time and place." 

"Right here, right now." Arin grinned at him. 

"Woah, what's going on here?" Dan's voice cut through their banter, just a hint of his lovely laughter in his voice. A light pressure was on Brian's chest now, and it got just a little harder to breathe. 

"Hey Dan!" Arin grinned. "I'm just telling Brian how heterosexual I am."

"Oh, you are the straightest dude I know." Dan giggled, nudging Brian. "Except for you, maybe." 

Brian's skin felt like it was on fire, a lump in his throat as he realized just how close Dan was to him. "Right." The word was almost a croak. "I... I have emails to attend to." Brian slipped away, feeling choked. 

"What's with him?" Dan watched Brian walk away, looking to Arin, who just shrugged, frowning worriedly.

Brian hid around the corner of the hall and coughed into his hand. He spit out four petals that had been stuck at the same time. What was wrong with him?

He cleared his throat, taking a long drink from his coffee. This would clear up. It was just an... elaborate prank. Someone just wanted to laugh at his expense. 

One hell of a prank. 

He took a deep breath and returned to his desk. Just a prank. He kept telling himself that, focusing on anything but the coiling fear and ache in his chest. Every time he looked at Dan, that ache got worse.

And now, this was the only thing keeping him from thinking about his usual thoughts about Dan. How much he wanted to kiss Dan, hold him. How much he wanted to run his fingers through Dan's hair, love him openly. Be together and build a life for themselves. 

He blinked, coughing roughly. Flower petals laid on his tongue. It was a gross sensation. He spit them into a tissue, shuddering. 

And Brian felt something he hadn't felt since he was young. Absolute terror.

That night, he was pacing in the living room, deep in thought. "Okay, what do I know?" He looked at the chalkboard he'd dragged out of the attic. "Flower petals. They are blue." He looked over at Fucker's tank. "Are you with me so far?"

The lizard wasn't even looking at him, but he took that as a valid answer. "Every time I cough, I spit up these blue flower petals. The first ones appeared on Friday." He drew a crude flower on the chalkboard next to 'blue flowers'. 

"There were a total of 3. One in the afternoon, one at dinner, and one after a brushed my teeth before bed." He scrawled the information down. "6 on Saturday. Two while I was texting Dan, and four while I was on my run. And then 10 on Sunday. 6 by noon, and the other 4 were between 1 pm and 10 pm, when I went to sleep."

He sighed. "And then... 14 today so far. 4 after talking with Arin after Dan showed up, 2 while answering emails, another 4 right after lunch, 3 while driving home, and the last one just a few minutes ago." 

Brian tapped his foot, glaring at the chalkboard. "What am I missing? There's got to be a reason!" He took a deep breath. "Let's see... they're increasing. There's no clear pattern here, but I know for certain that there's an increase by day. If I keep up this tracking, maybe it'll reveal a pattern."

He coughed into his hands, adding 3 more to the board, dropping the spit covered petals into the trash. "At least... I hope so."


	3. Chapter 3

By Wednesday, his bare hypothesis was right. The petals were increasing by the day. Almost exponentially now. He didn't expect the urge to vomit, but he found himself on his knees by 11 on Wednesday morning, throwing up in the work bathroom. 

Petals just came out, more petals than actual vomit. He'd lost count. His mouth tasted like acidic perfume. He groaned softly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

He panted softly, taking in shaky breaths. Why him? What was happening? He coughed again, spitting out the stupid flower petals. 

He stood up shakily, flushing the flowery puke and rinsing out his mouth. He needed help. He needed to know what was going on. As he washed his hands, he stared at his own reflection. He looked scared and tired and... vulnerable. 

He hated this. He quietly talked to Arin, telling him he wasn't feeling well. Arin sent him home. Of course he did. Arin was a sweetheart. 

"Brian, hey, are you okay?" Dan hurried over, looking worried. 

Brian felt like he might throw up again. "I have to go." He hurried out of the building, coughing roughly. Flower petals slowly fell from his mouth onto the ground. This may kill him. 

He didn't remember driving to Holly and Ross's house. But he was at their door, knocking and praying Holly was home. He felt weak and tired and his chest hurt. 

Holly opened the door, Paco on her shoulder. "Brian? What are you doing here?"

"I need help Holly. I- I think I'm dying." He saw the way her eyes widened. She ushered him inside, sitting him on the couch. 

"Dying?"

"I don't know what's going on! I'm throwing up flower petals." As if he was timing it, he coughed, more flower petals coming out of his windpipe. 

"It's worse than I thought..." Holly rubbed his back as he coughed, watching blue petals fall to the floor, overflowing in his hands. 

"What's happening to me?" He looked up at her with scared eyes. 

"Brian, deep breaths." She sat down next to him. "You have Hanahaki Disease. Flowers are growing in your lungs."

"What?" Brian looked even more panicked. "That's- that's not possible! Is- is it?"

"Yes. And it looks like you're getting into a later stage." She rubbed his back, trying to calm him. 

"Am I going to die?"

"There are two possible cures. You either need to confess to Dan, or you need to have surgery."

Brian's face flushed red. "What do you mean? Confess what to Dan?" He started coughing up more petals, choking on them. 

"I think you know..."

"What do you know about any of this?" He looked mad and scared and like he might run. 

Holly would've been hurt, but she knew he was scared. She understood. "I almost died of this Brian. I was so... I was so in love with Ross that it was killing me. I was lucky and I lived. But a lot of people just let themselves suffer. And then they suffocate."

Brian swallowed, still feeling choked. "What happens if you get the surgery?"

"They open your chest and remove the flowers. The disease goes away, but so do your feelings for whoever caused it."

Brian nodded slowly, looking down at his hands. They were stained a faint blue from all the petals. "I don't... I don't want to lose how I feel for him." 

"Then you need to talk to him. I don't want you to die, Brian..."

"I'm scared," he said softly. "If he doesn't feel the same, I'm going to die."

"It'll be okay." She moved her hand to squeeze his. 

He leaned against her, letting out a shivery breath, a single petal drifting out of his mouth. 

He stayed with her through the day. They didn't talk, but she brought him the trash can for when he'd cough up petals or throw up, keeping a glass of water close. He was scared and tired. She understood, just putting on a calm show to try and occupy part of his frenzied mind. 

Brian just stared blankly. He was dying. He'd faced his own mortality before of course. But there was something else. A primal kind of fear and dread. What if Dan didn't want anything to do with him?

What if Dan rejected him and left him alone? He'd be left with nothing, left to choke on flowers and die alone. He leaned over the trash can, throwing up petals and anything left in his stomach. 

He felt choked. He couldn't breathe right and he was terrified. He couldn't do it. "H-Holly..."

"It's okay, Brian. I'm right here..."

Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he blinked them back as he fought for breath, fingers gripping the trash can. Holly rubbed his back gently, humming lowly. She slowly got him to calm down, helping him take deep breaths. 

He couldn't breathe right, flower petals stuck in his throat. But it was better. He spit out more, shaking just a little. "I don't... I don't want to die, Holly."

"You won't. I promise." She squeezed his hand. 

Another hour of silence passed before Brian slowly got up. "I'm going home..." He sighed. "I have... a lot of thinking to do."

"Drive safe. Call if you need anything."

He smiled faintly. "I'll try to keep my calls to when you're not sexing up Ross."

Holly blushed. "What?"

"You leave a lot of marks on his neck." He grinned, leaving her to blush. His face fell as he got in his car. He didn't want to die.


	4. Chapter 4

Brian was getting worryingly used to being unable to breathe. It was Friday now, and it felt like every few minutes he was hacking up petals. He was pretty sure he'd seen a full flower last time he coughed. 

He'd taken off of work yesterday, trying to gather his thoughts. He knew what he needed to do. He hadn't slept, tongue stained blue from so many petals rubbing over it. It hurt now. His throat was raw and dry. He could hardly keep water down. 

As he drove, he just kept coughing. Petals were all down his front, all over the interior of his car. He wasn't sure if he could do this. He stared down at the petals on his lap, sitting in his car.

He was in the parking lot, sighing softly as he watched the world go by. It was late morning, and everyone else was there already. So no one knew he was there. 

He braced himself against a harsh cough, a flower falling from his lips. A fully formed one. Oh no. Whole flowers... all the site he had read online... He had two hours at most. More likely far less. Suddenly, Brian felt more fear than he had in his whole life. He was staring death in the eyes. 

He got out, nearly falling. He was weak. He'd hardly eaten since Monday, hardly had any water.

He stumbled into the office, petals trailing behind him. If Dan didn't love him back... there was a nice lake not to far from the office. That would be nice place to have his final moments. It was too late to try surgery. 

He took a steadying breath, slowly stepping into the office. "Where- where's Dan?"

Suzy's eyes widened when she saw Brian. "Brian, oh my god, are you okay?"

Brian coughed roughly, filling his hands with petals and flowers. "I- I need Dan. Suzy, please..."

Suzy frowned, hurrying to get Dan as Brian collapsed, too weak to hold himself up. He couldn't breathe, hacking up petals that lined his throat. 

"Woah, Brian?" Ryan was peering out of his office, Matt behind him. "What's going on? Are you okay?" Matt walked over, eyes wide. 

"Brian, try to breathe..." Matt kneeled next to him, patting his back, trying to comfort him. 

"I- I can't," he gasped, shakily wiping at his mouth before another wave hit him. Brian was choking. 

"No, you can. You're going to get through this." Matt's voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. 

Dan came running out. "Brian? Oh my god, what's happening?"

Brian couldn't answer, in the middle of a coughing fit. "It's Hanahaki, Dan." Matt looked up with scared eyes. "He's dying."

Brian shook his head, taking a weak breath. "Dan, Dan fuck..."

"I'm right here." Dan knelt in front of him, holding Brian's face, tears gathering in his eyes. "I'm right here Brian, I promise."

"I- I..." He wheezed, coughing up flowers all over Dan. Dan didn't seem to notice. "I have to tell you something..."

"Anything..." Dan blinked back tears. "I can't lose you Brian... you mean to much to me..."

"I'm so in love with you," Brian gasped out, forcing air into his lungs. He'd be dead in minutes now. This was how he was going out...

"I love you too, oh god. Don't leave me Brian..."

Brian blinked, looking up at Dan with tear filled eyes. "You do?"

"More than anything."

And then the pressure was easing away and Brian was grabbing onto Dan, holding him with all his strength. He coughed up a few more petals, and then...

Then he could breathe. Brian gasped in air, filling his lungs for the first time in a week. "Dan... oh god..."

Dan was crying. Brian could feel Dan's tears dripping onto his neck as he clung to him. But Brian didn't care. He was crying too. He took deep shuddering breaths, pulling back to look at Dan. Dan grabbed his face, kissing him firmly. 

Brian kissed back, both their faces covered in tears. Brian was shaking, panting as he pulled away. "What do you need?" Dan asked softly, his hands a grounding force as they rested on Brian's waist. 

Brian just stared at Dan, almost in awe. He was in shock. He'd gone from being certain he was going to die to being more alive than he'd been in a very long time. "Water... please..." His throat was very dry. 

Arin was already running off. Dan held Brian to his chest, stroking his hair as Brian held tight. "Matt," Dan began softly. "How did you know?"

"I mean, the guy was puking flowers." Matt laughed weakly. "No, but... a friend of mine had it last year. She got the surgery. But she almost died. She was in the stage right before where Brian was before they did it."

"Oh." Dan ran his fingers through Brian's hair. "Wow..."

"Yeah..."

Arin brought a cool bottle of water, sitting down on the floor. "Drink it slowly Brian..."

Brian took it with unsteady hands, slowly sipping the water. He was hungry too, but he'd been so thirsty. He drank the whole bottle, finally able to drink without needing to hack up petals. "Holly saved me," Brian mumbled. 

"What?" Suzy looked over. 

"I was over there on Wednesday... she's the one who told me to tell Dan." He took another deep breath, clinging to Dan. Ryan brought over a blanket, wrapping it around Brian. "I need... a nap."

Dan smiled, helping Brian up and leading him to the couch. "Come on. Get some rest."

Brian sat down, holding the blanket tight around himself. "Will you stay with me?"

"Forever." Dan sat down with him, pressing a careful kiss to Brian's lips and holding him close. 

Brian had never felt safer.


	5. Epilogue

A few months had passed since Brian had gotten hanahaki. He'd ended up getting bronchitis for a few weeks, the petals fucking up his lungs. Arin hadn't let him come in to work, telling him he needed to rest. 

That just led to Brian being restless. He'd mostly moped around his house, cleaning up flowers and petals that remained. If he saw one more blue flower in his life, it would be too many. 

Dan had come by after work to be with him, and that had been nice. They'd done a lot of talking. A lot of it was about feelings, about what they wanted to be, where they wanted to go with their relationship. 

They'd kissed more too. Dan was careful, almost worried that Brian might break in his arms. But he was okay. 

Once the bronchitis cleared up, Brian was back to normal. Happier, though. In love. He felt like maybe he could face life more readily. He'd stared death in the face, and he wanted to live and feel alive. 

But he was settling back into his routine from before. Now with more time for Dan. He went out with the others more and tried not to spend every night just sitting at home. 

Tonight, however, he was spending the night at home. Dan was in the living room with Fucker, and Brian was in the kitchen, finishing up dinner. "Hey, put her back in the tank! Dinner's just about ready." 

Dan smiled, carefully putting the lizard back, humming as he watched her take a sip of her water. Brian brought out two plates of chicken and broccoli. Dan kissed his cheek, smiling. "Thanks for dinner, Bri."

"It's no problem." He smiled as he started to eat, sitting close to Dan. "I keep finding flower petals in my room. It's been like two months."

"If it makes you feel any better, Suzy has some flowers on her desk, and I guess a petal must've drifted over by me. I had a fucking heart attack." He giggled. 

"Hey, one near death is enough for the both of us for the next year or so." He grinned. "You promised me you'd stay forever, and you better know I'm holding you to that."

"I swear to you I'll keep my word." He smiled, leaning against Brian. 

Brian and Holly had grown closer too. She'd come over while he was stuck at home, making him food a few times and helping him clean up. It was nice. Brian hadn't ever really realized how little he knew about her, especially considering one of his best friends was her husband. 

She was so kind. It was crazy how he'd never gotten to know her. On a day he didn't have work, he found himself at her place. Ross was in his home studio to work on animation, and Holly had dragged him outside. 

Brian cautiously stepped into the bird enclosure after Holly. It wasn't too big, just big enough for a few dozen pigeons and two people. Holly grinned, handing Brian one of them. "Hold her like this... this is Beans."

"Beans?"

"Brian, you named a lizard Fucker. You have no room to judge me."

"Not judging. It's cute." He held the bird carefully. Beans cooed curiously, tilting her head as she looked at Brian. 

Holly smiled as she started cleaning, watching Brian with the pigeon. "I think she likes you!"

"Cute." Brian smiled, watching as Beans lightly pecked at his hands, seeming content to just sit in his hands. Other pigeons were chirping, a few pecking at his shoes and jeans. He was more of a reptile guy, but birds were neat. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"You just did." She grinned, and Brian groaned. 

"You've spent too much time with Ross."

"Too much time with you, more like." She laughed. "Nah, but go ahead."

"After you... after you got with Ross... um, did you ever... were you like, freaked out every time you coughed? Worried that maybe you weren't actually better?" He didn't quite meet her eyes, keeping his gaze directed up at a little cluster of birds. 

"I still worry about that. It's only been 2 months, Brian. You're not going to get over that immediately. You were scared and in over your head. You probably had a few moments of your life flashing before your eyes, am I right?"

He nodded, feeling embarrassed. "It occurred to me how long I'd been, uh... pining after Dan, I suppose."

"Then it'll take time. Remember that I'm here for you, Dan's here for you, Arin, Suzy, Ross... hell, Matt and Ryan are here for you." She set a hand on his arm. "Don't let yourself get too caught up in that mind of yours. Talk when you need to, find comfort when you need it." 

Brian let Beans flutter off. "How long am I going to feel like this? I'm happier, but... god, Holly. I'm so scared."

"I'm not sure. It took me months to really bounce back. But it's you who's experiencing that now." 

"I don't want to be scared. I don't even know what I'm scared of. I just... am."

"You almost died. That's one of the scariest things a person can go through. But you've got people who are here for you. So if it gets to be too much, take a breath, step back, and let yourself calm down. It'll get better. I promise."

He nodded, taking a slow breath. He'd be okay. 

He was alive, and that's what counted.


End file.
